What its like arriving home to a Rottweiler

The Rottweiler Welcome: More Tail Wagging, Less Doorbell Drama

Oh, hooman. You’ve had a long, tiresome day. Perhaps the boss was being particularly bossy, traffic moved slower than a tortoise with a backpack, or you caught yourself daydreaming about a more exciting life mid-email. But then it happens—you pull up to your driveway, open the door, and there it is: the glorious, over-the-top greeting of your Rottweiler.

The "Whole-Body Wag" Spectacle

Let me tell you, hooman, a Rottweiler doesn’t just wag a tail—they wag their entire body. It’s a symphony of movement. My kind has mastered the art of the wigglebutt, a heart-melting display where every bone in our big, sturdy bodies joins in the celebration of your existence. Don't flatter yourself too much, though. Sometimes that dance is partly about the treat we can smell in your bag.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone—two weeks, eight hours, or seven minutes. To us, time doesn’t exist. What matters is that the pack is back together, and that deserves an entrance celebration fit for royalty.

The Sniff Check: Credentials, Please

Now, let’s talk about the sniff inspection. Every Rottweiler has their own protocol, but we all prefer a thorough nose-to-hooman scan. Shoes, hands, pockets—no area is off-limits. Where have you been? Who did you meet? And most importantly, did you pet another dog? It’s like CSI: Doggy Edition over here, and don’t think for a second you’ll get away with it if there’s evidence of betrayal, even if it was just stinky Kevin’s Chihuahua from the post office.

The "Let Me Help You" Phase

Once the tail-wagging fireworks and sniff parade settle down, we move into Phase Three: making ourselves useful. Grocery bags? You’ve got a professional inspector sniffing for contraband chicken. A jacket? Clearly, it’s meant to be tugged off your arm and turned into a makeshift tug toy. Keys? Oh, don’t worry—you won’t need those for at least another hour. You see, Rottweilers aren’t just muscle; we’re brains too. Anything that brings us closer to prolonged interaction is, in our eyes, an excellent idea.

The Rottie "Guard Duty" Update

Now, hooman, let’s sit down for a moment because this is the part where I shine. You’ve been gone all day, and as your loyal protector, I’ve been keeping the house safe. Do you know the horror I faced? The mailman—that suspicious character who shows up unannounced and doesn’t even bother introducing himself—came by again. And let’s not even get started on the black garbage bin that rolled too close to the driveway. My barking heroism kept us safe, and all I ask is a belly rub and a treat in return.

Oh, and I saw a bird. Just putting it out there. If you see evidence of pawprints on the windowsill, it was for reconnaissance purposes.

Home: Smells Like Family

Here’s the secret, hooman: when you arrive home, you bring our world back into balance. For a Rottweiler, there’s no greater joy than being surrounded by the pack. Your smell, voice, and even your sweaty gym bag make our home feel complete. We’re big, burly softies who thrive on loyalty and love (and snacks, always snacks).

If you still wonder what it’s like to come home to a Rottweiler, let me spell it out: it’s chaos, joy, laughter, slobber, and unconditional love wrapped into one big, goofy package. We don’t just greet you; we celebrate you. Every. Single. Time.

A Final Word from Thor

Hooman, let’s face it—your Rottweiler is more than just a dog. We’re your biggest fan, your fiercest protector, and your favourite plush-bear-sized cuddle buddy. So next time you walk through that door, drop the “I’ve had a long day” attitude and meet us halfway in our celebration. Trust me. A little wigglebutt is good for the soul.

Now, go grab a treat, and let’s sit on the couch together. I’ll even leave just a tiny corner for you. Maybe.

Cheers and woofs,

Thor