Netflix can’t compete with Rotties—you love your dog, but who's really entertaining who?

Subtitle: The secret talents of big dogs—and how we train our hoomans to laugh, learn, and heel on cue

Hoomans, let’s have a heart-to-heart (or heart-to-snout). You think you’re the entertainers in this relationship, right? The belly-scratchers, treat-givers, Zoom-call muters? Cute. But here’s the truth: we Rotties have been running the show this whole time—and keeping you thoroughly entertained while doing it. You're welcome.

Meet Thor: Walkin’ proof that laughter lives on four legs

Before I go on, let me tell you what happened last week. My hooman dropped a slice of pizza during dinner. I sat. I stared. I drooled just the right amount. Hooman laughed so hard they nearly spilled their beer. Classic comedic timing—better than half the stuff on Netflix.

“You hoomans think we need constant exercise—we’re working on your mental stimulation too.”

Ready to learn how to entertain your hooman? Buckle up that collar, fluff your chest fur, and let’s get tail-deep in the art of hooman enrichment.

Step 1: Master the Look™

It starts with eye contact. Not just any stare— the stare. Tilt your head slightly, squint with curiosity, and deploy the silent signal that says, “I know what you did with the bacon.” Instant laughter. Guaranteed snack drop. 5/5 paws.

Training Tip:

• Use during boring movie nights
• Deploy in the kitchen for maximum treat potential
• Do not overuse—it must feel spontaneous and heartfelt (like a surprise zoomie)

Step 2: Create the Unexpected Zoomie Zone

Sudden zoomies while hooman is sweeping? Gold. Bonus points if you're outside, it's rained, and the lawn's turned into a mud spa. But make sure the nap spot is pre-approved so the aftermath doesn't cancel your next walkies.

Pro Hooman Hack:

Encourage your hooman to install a K9 Pro Super Tough Dog Run Chain in the yard. Keeps us safe while we reenact our own action scenes from Paw & Furious.

Step 3: Product Review Theatre—live in your lounge!

Ever seen your hooman just watch you go at a new toy or chew like it’s Netflix? Big dogs, welcome to the spotlight. Sink your teeth into something durable, throw in some dramatic growls, then pause to tilt your head at the audience—for applause, obviously.

Current fan favourites include the Aussie Dog ‘Home Alone’ Toy. Built for solo drama and solo tug fans. It wobbles, it squeaks—Oscar material.

Step 4: Bring the ‘show’ to ‘shenanigans’

Drag your bedding to the weirdest place possible (like under the dining chair or on top of laundry) and then pretend it’s completely normal. Sleep there. Snore loudly. Cue laughter. It’s called improvisational comedy, hoomans. Keep up.

One Small Upgrade Equals Big Laughs:

Encourage your hooman to set up a shady retreat with a K9 King All-Weather Dog Bed. It’s chew-resistant, soil-savvy, AND makes you look majestic while napping dramatically post-zoomie.

Step 5: Outwit, Outbark, Outlast

This is where we flip the script. You're not just their pet—you’re their co-star. Smile when they’re sad. Bark during awkward moments. Lay your giant head on their knee when they think nobody sees them crying into their third cup of stove-top brew.

Real strength? Convincing your hooman to talk about their feelings by putting drool on their jeans first.

We don’t just keep hoomans laughing. We anchor their moods, mark time between dog park visits, and remind them that the world keeps spinning—even if we just want to nap through it all.

Playtime Prop Ideas from the Good Stuff Drawer

• Ball with Bite: The Jumball by Aussie Dog is perfect for kick-fetch champions and theatrical backyard chase scenes. Almost chew-proof. Almost.
• Decoy for Chaos: Use the Indestructibone Dog Chew Stick as a distraction prop while you sneak onto the couch. You didn’t get that idea from me.
• The Thinker’s Choice: Lick mats from the store’s pet section. Distract your hooman while you ‘clean it thoroughly’ for 45 minutes straight. High entertainment value.

Paw-spective Shift: Who’s really training who?

Hoomans think they buy toys to keep us busy. But here's the twist: we’ve been using those toys to keep them smiling all along. Being a Rottweiler isn't just about guarding gates and chasing leaves—it's about sensing your hooman’s mood… and expertly smacking them in the face with a rogue tail wag right when they need it.

You don’t need a stage to be entertaining. You just need a sense of timing, a chunky head, and a passion for chewing inappropriate things in deeply humorous ways.

Hoomans, you might think you’re taking care of your dogs. But really? It’s us keeping your tails wagging.

Pawsitively yours,
Thor

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