Martha Stewart’s dog might not—but yours stares while you pee. Ever wonder why?

Because Even Martha Stewart’s Dog Doesn’t Watch You Pee (But Yours Does)

What’s Really Behind the Bathroom Staredown—and How to Handle It Like a Pack Alpha

Every dog parent knows this moment: you’re mid-toilet break, door slightly ajar, and there they are—wide-eyed, bottom parked on the tiles, tail sweeping the mat—staring. Right. At. You. Not blinking. Not budging. Just full-on eye contact as you try to do your business in peace.

Before you assume your pup’s just clingy or judging your squat form, I’m here to clear the air (pun 100% intended) because—surprise!—it’s not what you think.

Okay, but why the staring? Aren’t you dogs, like, obsessed with smells?

Guilty. Smells are our jam. But the bathroom watch party isn’t about your lavender diffuser or the peculiar scent of “eau de hooman.”

Here’s the real scoop, straight from one big, bathroom-sentry Rottie: you’re vulnerable in there. And that, my dear hooman, triggers every dog’s ancient urge to guard you from rogue squirrels, invisible robbers, and maybe even your own questionable hygiene routine.

The backstory goes way, way back. In the wild (yes, even poodles had wild days), bathroom breaks were danger zones. Unable to sniff out threats with their attention elsewhere, pack members relied on others to keep watch. So when you’re in your “safe space” doing #1 or #2, we dogs go full security mode… just without the earpiece.

“Dogs mirror our energy and habits—if your dog guards the door, they’re balancing loyalty and instinct,” says Dr. Lisa Radosta, board-certified veterinary behaviourist.

But Thor, seriously—why the aggressive eye contact?

Alright, look. You close the door on us pretty much nowhere else in the house. You grab snacks, sort laundry, talk to the vacuum monster—all with us two steps behind. But the bathroom? Suddenly, it’s forbidden. That’s peak drama.

So naturally… we want in. And stare. Because A: separation anxiety is real and B: your bathroom tiles are deliciously cool and perfect for a nap. Of course we’re gonna follow you like the loyal floof shadows we are.

The practical fix for you nosey hoomans

Alright, here comes some real advice. If your dog’s bathroom obsession is getting weird (or turning into a trip hazard), try training a simple stay command or offering a plush toy like the KONG Wild Knots Bear while you practice door time. Bonus points—it’s soft, durable, and distracts even the clingiest pup for a few precious solo minutes.

Other helpful tactics:

• Designate a chill-out zone just outside the loo with a comfy boho-style dog mat.
• Use natural light calming sprays or lavender-scented chew toys (check the toy section here).
• Add a treat-dispensing toy like the LickiMat Slomo near the door—let them enjoy snack time while you take care of business.

Trust me, once your pup knows something fun (or treat-flavoured) happens while you’re in the bathroom, they’ll shift from security guard to snack manager in no time.

Unpopular opinion: You might be the clingy one

Let’s be brutally honest, hooman—sometimes it’s you who follows us from room to room… with your camera ready. You dress us up, narrate our thoughts on TikTok, and punctuate your breakfast with “aww-look-at-him-napping” photos. We stare at you in the bathroom? Guess what—that’s team behaviour. We’re just matching your energy, furball-style.

So the next time you’re mid-toilet and locked eyes with your dog…

…take a deep breath (preferably before things get too aromatic), and remember: you’ve raised a fiercely loyal sidekick who thinks your most vulnerable moment is worth guarding.

We might not blink. We might plonk our floofy butts on the bathmat. But we’re not judging… we’re protecting. And possibly hoping for a snack.

Mic drop moment: To your dog, your bathroom break is a group mission. You weren't weirded out—they were just doing their job. Next time, return the favour during our vet visit. Deal?

See you at the loo.
— Thor 🐾

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