How to Win at Hide & Seek Against a Dog’s Nose

Outsniffing the Sniffer: How to Outsmart a Dog’s Nose the Paw-sible Way

Alright hoomans, come sit — we need to have a serious chat. So, you want to win a game of hide & seek… against a dog? My powerful sniffer just flared with laughter. But okay, challenge accepted. Let’s pretend you’ve got a shot. Just remember, I was born with a nose that can pick up a sausage roll from three suburbs away — and no, I won’t tell you where it is.

The Super Snout Situation

Let’s make one thing clear: your regular hooman nose? It’s like a soggy tennis ball sitting next to a freshly opened pack of beef jerky. My Rottweiler snout, and those of my sniff-happy cousins, has around 300 million scent receptors. You’ve got somewhere in the depressing 5 million range. And you think you’re gonna win this?

I could sniff out your hiding spot faster than you can say, “Thor, get off the furniture!” So if you’re serious about this game, you’re gonna need more than just a clever hiding spot — you need strategy, snacks, and a little bit of scent deception.

Step 1: Lose the Scent Trail (No, Really)

You hoomans walk around like you're not dribbling scent dust all over the place. News flash: you're basically a walking bacon strip to my nose. To level the playing field, here’s what you need to do:

• Leave socks behind: I know it's not your best look, but go barefoot or wear something you've never worn before. Your normal shoes? Smell like ten years of cheese.
• Backtrack like a squirrel on espresso: Double back, spin around a few times, confuse the trail. I’ll still sniff it out — but you’ll at least make me work for it.
• Use distractions: Drop a snack trail near the shed, let me “discover” it halfway through the game. Nothing confuses my mission like a lone bikkie in the grass. Instincts kick in — snack first, seek later.

Step 2: Don’t Smell Like You

Okay, this is where it gets weird. If you're trying to fool a doggo like me, you're gonna have to ditch your natural odour. I know, it’s what makes you, well, you — but that's the problem.

“Your shampoo smells like coconuts, your clothes reek of detergent, and your deodorant is some citrus nightmare. I could track you through a forest fire.”

Try this instead:

• Borrow someone else's hoodie (preferably someone I don’t sniff daily).
• Rub yourself in neutral scents — plain dirt, old leaves, even a crusty towel from the laundry line. Don’t ask questions. Just commit.
• Avoid sweaty spots: Armpits, feet, hair — your usual scent bombs. You might think you’re hidden…but your BO says otherwise.

Step 3: Location, Location, Confusion

Now, where you hide is just as important. You can’t just duck behind a tree and hope my attention span fails. Dogs might chase our own tails, but when it comes to sniffing, we’re laser-focused.

Your best bets:

• High places: Most of us get stuck looking ground-level first. Roof of the cubby house? Legendary move. Slightly cheating…but effective.
• Unfamiliar spaces: The laundry pile? Too easy. The old wheelbarrow in the shed? Now that’s thinking like a true canine criminal.
• Weather helpers: Wind can scatter your scent in weird directions. Hide where the breeze pushes your stink toward the compost bin. I’ll go there first — sorry, it’s science.

Bonus Cheeky Trick: Smell Swaps

Here’s a wildcard — plant decoys. Yep, drop a hoodie or sock at one end of the paddock, and hide at the other. I’ll go sniff the bait, maybe give it a chew, bark twice to assert dominance… and you’ll win while I’m victory-chomping on your distraction.

I once spent 20 minutes sniffing the neighbour’s slipper while my hooman was literally under the carport stairs. If that slipper had peanut butter on it, I’d still be there today.

The Harsh Truth (and a Soft Belly Rub)

Let’s not pretend this will be easy. You’re trying to outwit a nose designed to track lost hikers, buried bones, and whether or not you’ve cheated on us with another dog. (Yes, we always know.)

But you’ve got determination, a weird sense of pride, and probably a pocket of snacks. With enough planning and a bit of hooman sneakiness, you might — might — be able to win one round. Just don’t get cocky. I’ve got the advantage of four paws and a lifetime supply of sniff-fuelled determination.

Now grab your hoodie, drop that decoy sock, and may the best nose (or lack of it) win.

Tail wags and nose boops,

Thor 🐾