How I cost mum $170 in vet bills because my acting was so good it deserved an Oscar - (hint I pretended I broke my paw)

When You’re This Pawsome at Acting, It Comes with a Price Tag

Hey there, my two-legged pals! Thor here, your friendly neighbourhood Rottweiler with a nose for adventure and a knack for spinning a good yarn. Let me tell you about the time I managed to land myself in an Oscar-worthy performance – the kind that would make even Meryl Streep jealous – but also cost my poor mum $170. Oops!

The Scene: An Ordinary Afternoon

Picture this: it was a regular lazy afternoon. Mum was sipping her tea, scrolling through her magic rectangle (you hoomans call it a phone). I had just completed my third nap of the day (don’t judge, it’s exhausting being this cute), and everything seemed calm. Too calm. I felt the itch for some drama – a little excitement to spice up the day.

And that’s when inspiration hit. I thought, what if I became the canine equivalent of an arthouse movie star? The subtle whimper, the soulful eyes, and – wait for it – the limp! Oh, yes. A fake limp. It was genius.

The Performance of a Lifetime

With my right paw slightly raised, I hobbled across the room like a tragic hero in a Shakespearean play. Mum spat out her tea in panic. “Oh no! Thor, what happened?!” she cried, rushing to my side. She gasped. She fretted. I may have added a tiny whimper for dramatic effect (purely method acting, of course).

Now, for you doggos reading this (and any hoomans eavesdropping), let me clarify: nothing was wrong with my paw. Not a single scratch or splinter. But my Oscar-worthy act? Magnifique. Mum didn’t even question it. Straight away, she called the vet. Which, by the way, is like the doggy version of being summoned to The Upside Down. So naturally, I second-guessed my genius plan for a split second. But the show must go on!

The Vet Visit: My Red Carpet Moment

Oh, the drama continued to unfold when we arrived at the vet. Mum nervously explained to the vet nurse what had happened. There I was, putting on my best ‘brave but vulnerable’ face. Mum looked so worried that I almost broke character to give her a reassuring tail wag. Almost.

The vet checked my paw thoroughly. Touched it, twisted it, prodded it. He even got out that cold sticky gel thingy to take an X-ray. Yuck! I wanted to tell him, “Mate, it’s just acting!” But by then, I was committed to the role.

The Big Reveal

After what felt like dog years (for me, it was probably five minutes), the vet finally turned to Mum and said, “There’s nothing wrong with Thor’s paw. He might’ve just stepped on something temporarily uncomfortable.” Mum looked at me with a mix of relief and confusion. Meanwhile, I was thinking, “Temporarily uncomfortable? Buddy, that’s my career you’re talking about!”

To cap things off, he advised her to keep an eye on me – just in case. Oh, and handed her a bill for $170. Whoopsie. It turns out, classically trained canine acting doesn’t come cheap!

Mum’s Realisation and My Lesson

Back home, Mum stared at me for a loooong time. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I zoomied around the house with both paws working perfectly fine. She just sighed and muttered, “You’re lucky you’re cute, Thor.” Lucky? Nah, Mum. It’s raw talent, darling.

But here’s the kicker: I realised something important that day. While my acting chops are top-tier, it’s not cool to stress Mum out just for laughs (well, okay, maybe just a little next time). For us doggos, our hoomans will always go above and beyond for us, even if it means sitting in a vet waiting room for hours or doling out cash for a non-existent injury. It’s pretty special, isn’t it?

Final Thoughts from Your Humble Star

So, my dear hoomans, let this tale serve as a reminder that we doggos have a flair for drama but also an undying love for you lot. Wrap it up with a belly rub, and we’re good as gold. Oh, and if you ever catch me limping again, it might be best to hold off on the vet visit until you see me chasing the backyard magpies like nothing happened. Just saying.

Till the next adventure, keep your tails wagging and your treats handy!

Paws and kisses,

Thor 🐾